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I am.. in my cubicle at work right now.
Except that i didn't work today, and it's 11:22pm on New Years night.
I can't sleep, or do anything by myself because I spontaneously combust into tears.
So i'm sitting next to Kadie. Blank.

Marielena offered to buy me a ticket to NY for next weekend, so I can cry out of state. that was sweet.

School is about to start, i'm not really excited anymore.

I went to bed around 3:30am and woke up at 5am. I think i stained karens couch pillows with my smeared makeup. and i'm pretty sure i didn't wake anyone up with my sobbing.

I haven't eaten all day, and I haven't really talked. Mari said I should write in my journal, so i am.

I thought about visiting Daynes grave and talking to him. He never really judges, or gives advice when he was alive.. but i've also never been to his grave since he passed. so. not really a good day to start.

My dad knows there's something wrong.. i think my mom too, but they're not sure what. I feel hallow. I was in my apartment earlier for about 2 hours. I didn't know bawling could last that long. I'm pretty sure I hate my life.

I'll write tomorrow, whether i want to or not. It sort of feels right.