It's that time again

that's right! Social networking sabbatical.. ooo ooo oo.. haha, who's excited? this girl.. sorta.

Has it really come to the point where I've separated myself so much from my own life that I have to back up and re-evaluate? I should be able to do this while I'm living my life, not when I'm spiraling out of control! oh silly me.

If you don't already know, Richard and I broke up- but it was a really good break up! We're still friends, and immediately after we thought it would be funny if we put we were engaged on our facebook statuses. We even hung out the weekend after that break-up, and honest to goodness it was NOT awkward in the slightest and was actually a lot of fun.

Well on to other things, something that my friend pointed out about me is that I am always working towards a goal.
"Granted" she said, "it may not be the same goal from 5minutes ago, but it's still a goal." (got to love her for truly knowing me).
Right now I want to be a maker of sweets and a video game ultra-advocate! Those two have been sticking quite nicely so far, so.. I'm a roll, lol.

I still haven't taken a professional cake decorating class.
I signed up for one, but it was full and I was on a waiting list, so I ended up assisting for it. So while I was washing dishes, prepping, bringing in and out materials and helping the chef, I stored some tips in the ole noggin.
I'm currently assisting in classes to earn to take classes (im not really getting a paycheck for assisting, I just get.. more cooking classes as my payment, so I'm kicking my own ass here). I'm crossing my fingers that I gain enough credits towards a baking class on the 20th before it fills up.. there's also a decorating marathon in a couple weeks, but that's a lot more.. hmm.

However, I like that i've never taken professional classes. I think it adds a little more creativity and definitely teaches me things I can possibly work with. I want to take a cake class tabula rasa, however it's hard not to be influenced by the teacher or chefs pedagogical slant for future projects. That's what makes me the most nervous, some ones idea constantly influencing my work and fencing in particular creative ideas and leaving out universal possibilities.

We'll see how things go, I suppose.
20 hours and 18 minutes left until i leave Facebook and Myspace for a while, and even twitter i'll only be posting as CapellasCnC and posting blog updates in MissdTheKickoff. Hmm.. Whether i'm ready or not, it's going to happen.

Let the adventure begin

So......

I feel like I should write, but I don't really know what I should write about.

I'm moving back in with my parents at the end of October. I don't mind so much, they have satellite, HBO and my dog stays there- so she can start sleeping in bed with me again. :)

I also don't mind, because my apartments lease agreements are only in 12month increments and i'm hoping to be traveling a lot after I graduate, as well as go to culinary/pastry school.
I'm just worried about putting all my crap in one room. Yikes.

I've definitely let myself go especially after I started dating Richard. I gained like.. psshh 15-20lbs or SOMETHING RIDICULOUS like that. I need to get back on this workout thing. I was thinking about joining LA Fitness once I move back in with the parents and don't have as many bills to pay.

So I was thinking...
and I think every individual has their own, what I call "momentum". On a flat line, anyones momentum can push them from anywhere on point A (left) to point B (which depending on the person can be, up, right down, slanted, diagonal, etc). Some people make their own momentum by continually having goals they work towards, and others work with the momentum they have (sometimes thats none). Some people are content where they are inbetween point A and point B and just stay there. So there are millions of tiny points that are in the process of traveling from point A point B. I am hoping to find someone on my journey to point B that shares the same drive of momentum. Because lately, I feel like I keep meeting points that I feel are going the same direction, but i've been passing up.

My momentum is going, and it's not stopping for anything.

Capellas Cookies N Cakes

Hey you guys, I need some help!
My friend who runs a birthing service, massaging service (something about being a doula?)
Heres her website: http://www.barefootbirth.com
Anyway, she helps women give birth, and goes to ...preggo woman expos..
Well long story short, she's invited me to be a part of her team to make goodies for such expos, meetings and shindigs her company holds with clients.
Normally for expos, they make free cupcakes and people ask them if they cater or will do cupcakes for baby showers and such, but... they definitely dont. lol. That's where I come in.
Charlies (my girlfriend) wants me to make the goodies for the expos as well as have my business card handy for anyone that IS looking for cupcakes or cookies for baby showers and little parties (EEEK!!!!!!)
AND I'll get reimbursed for the materials I'll be using, paid and get free advertising on Charlies BareFoot Birth website!
It's going to be touch with school and work, but COME ON- when does an opportunity like this come along when i'm in the midst of trying to figure out how to get into the culinary world of pastries?!

SO... I want two business cards... we'll im ordering some at the end of the week, but I need some opinions!
This one is what i'm thinking for preggo expos, and for anyone expecting, or any "cutesy" situation:


and here's two card options that are just everyday ones... i don't like these as much as the green one above :/
ideas? suggestions anyone?

Hey you guys! I'm alive!

So I actually wanted to write in here yesterday, but due to some occurences, I wasn't able to, but I am now!

So I worked out yesterday, yay! I haven't done that in a while..
It felt good afterwards. but it's definitely going to take a little bit to get used to braiding work outs into my actual work schedule and school schedule. It's starting to kick my ass, and i'm just trying to keep up.

OH I graduate in May! hoooray! in Anthropology :D how cooool

I took my first knife skills class at the Rolling Pin's Kitchen Emporium! a 3 1/2 class on how to cut things, what kind of knives to use, how to stand, the right length of knife for an individual person.
I'm also going to my Rolling Pins cooking class orientation this upcoming sunday, so I can help chefs prep and such for any cooking classes. And on the 23rd of the month, I have a cake decorating class! I'm getting so excited...
oh,
MORE EXCITEMENT!!!!
the mom said that for my birthday she's going to get me a kitchen aid mixer! A FUCKING KITCHEN AID MIXER! and I can even get it early if I want... but I want to make sure I don't have it during a lot of school work or exams, because I want to play with it all weekend!!!

oh baby! haha.. i already have the blender, Ijust want that flippin stand mixer.

I also met someone at the Rollin Pin that is going to the culinary school that I was thinking about going to. She said she loves it.. and she's an assistant at the RP too.. All these classes have been so much fun! I can't wait to take more!

okay, honestly this isn't going to be such a sufficient blog entry because i'm actually in class.. haha
Technologies for Preserving Heritage (an Archaeology class, lol.. *sigh*)

White a little more later!

I can't sleep.. so this one is for you.

I intimidate you with my spit, my curses, my curves, my ability to throw a punch
I will shove down your masculinity by opening my own doors
I can quiver your knees with one look and a tight glare
I can make you cry as easily as I can make you smile

I want to praise your soul by placing my hand on your heart, your lips, your face
I want to ease your senses with my flowery scent
I can worship your body with breezy kisses, tingling your spine to the depths of your quickest heartbeat
I can love you, have loved you, will love you for galaxies that extend and swirl to the infinite universe

You've spoken words of promise, of swears on graves of humans, on contracts to your feelings for me
You've teased me with shimmering nights of stars and ecstasies on a forbidden realm
You've sworn to be my shoulder, my partner, the one- my one
You've failed to extend your love to me

I'm your couch that keeps you warm and cradles you to sleep, the one you throw when better comes along
I'm your trusty knife you throw that could never be bothered to sharpen
I'm your shoes you walk on, step on, tread on and forget when my souls been breached
I'm the air you miss when you find yourself gasping

So baby, don't you see?
My love is in a cage waiting for you to break in
I want you, but you need me
I just need you to want me too

Freakin' Accomplishments *warning: A LOT of exclamation points!*

I know, long time no update.. yikes.
Well. i'm still doing weight watchers. Thank god i didn't quit, because this shit was getting out of hand. lol
I lost 12.6 pounds the first month (January) I joined, which is freakin SWELL! However, for the next couple months.. up until last Friday, I would gain 4 lbs, then lose 3 lbs, then gain 3 lbs, then lose 4 lbs, and I never quite got past the original 12.6lbs mark in January. Frustrating?
YES.

SO Last Friday, which was May 29th, that's right.. almost exactly 5 months from starting Weight Watchers, I lost 4 lbs that got me over the 12.6lbs mark! YAY!!!!
Not ONLY did it get me over that stupid mark, but I reached my goal of losing 5% of my weight, as well as hitting my 16week mark, which for some reason at Weight Watchers, is a big deal.

Not only that, but when I hung out with Christopher this past week, he commented and how he thought I looked skinnier, which is flipping awesome considering its my first compliment since joining WW, freakin awesome.
I also pulled out a pair of hideous shorts I bought last year that were on clearance (If you don't know me well.. you'll see I like to buy ugly clothing and i'll make that shit look HOT. lol.. well maybe, if not hot at least funny) and they're these wool shorts lol... with houndstooth print.. let me try to find a picture..

haha not even this skinny bitch can make them look good..

OMG anyway, back to the topic.. I bought them and i couldn't button that baby up, and now I can! hooray! I mean, i still have some pudgy mcpudge hangin over, but shit! It fits!
OH So do the size 18long capris I got from Old Navy! And i'm a size 20 there.... but I'm averagely a size 22, when I started WW.
So. Go me. :)

lol this entry is so messy and I get lost reading it, so I don't blame you if you skim.. haha.
Hoping to lose another size or two before trip to Denver!!! *crosses fingers*

OH another accomplishment. Within the past month, I started "running" my miles and timing them.. I started off doing about 24:35ish and when I "ran" today, I clocked in at 16:13!!!! Hahaha. I think i'm doing so well!

Lets hope this week shows a loss too..

On my mind and i don't want to forget them..

Things I want/prefer/hope for in a guy:
- he prefers to wear bow ties instead of neckties
- he still carries a handkerchief (extra points if it has something punk on them, like skulls, lol)
- he opens the door for me, not because he feels he needs to, but because he knows it makes me happy
- argues with me when I opt to pay for something (like dinner)
- dedicates/sings me a song/learns one song on an instrument and sings for me, extra points if he's particularly shy or really
really, really sucks at singing (those are the BEST).
- thinks holding hands in public is as sacred and personal as making out in private
- gives forehead kisses during a hug
- gives freakin FLOWERS! I love flowers... and they do it in the movies.. and it's realistic! They're like...$5 at WalMart.. I mean, come on? REally? I want flowers....... like... all the time, lol.
- understands/doesn't make fun of me for liking the following: dinosaurs, bubbles, sunsets, flying kites, baking just because,
High School Musical (lol), musicals, Twilight, giving random presents, giving random kisses, collecting holloween costumes,
- he gets along perfectly with my sis-in-law, nephew and brother
- will play video games with me as well as go kayaking with me
- loves dogs... a lot, extra points for already owning one
- doesn't mind crying in front of me
- understands that my closest friends are guys, and that i will always be friends with them
- he wants time for himself, cause i can't deal with a dependent dude
- can financially take care of himself
Last but not least (at least for now), he chooses to be with me, not "needs" to be with me.

Driving full speed in reverse

So last week, I was pretty livid when the scale said a gain of 1.4, the week before that I lost 1.6.
So I kicked my ass this week to get that 1.4 BACK from the scale.. and nothing is happening. These past couple weeks i've been working out 4 times a week, and my scale (which is pretty accurate to the WeightWatcher scale) is continually saying that I'm gaining.

WTF.

My weigh in is tomorrow, not really that excited about it.

Portions for Foxes

I feel like it's a big thing you know? Like when Bella jumped off the cliff just to know she's alive.

I've been really tired lately, and really out of sync, which is okay... all consequences of my choices.
I have my weigh in tomorrow for weight watchers, because I totally accidentally slept in earlier and missed my meeting, hahaha.
So i have to wake up doubley early to get to the 8am meeting tomorrow. Fun fun.

I've been really good this week about eating my points and trying to stay active, cause god know i totally fell off that bandwagon.

Lately there's this feeling coming over me, and the only way i know how to describe it is, "I feel like Pam from The Office when she confronts everyone". hahaha, that's not even a "feeling" term.
I guess i feel... left out and unnoticed? I mean, well duh people say hi and whatever, normalcy stuff that people do and say on a day to day basis when they don't realize their living.
But..I dooon't know. I feel weird inside.

It's like... when I e-mailed a TON of people- friends, close co workers and other people trying to lose weight, asking them to write down a couple encouraging words for me on a post it so I could have some extra motivation on my weight loss, a fucking journey that i know is going to be a lifetime- no one did it. not one person even responded with anything slightly motivational or encouraging. what the fuck?
I was straining enough to write that e-mail. I hate asking for help. I fucking hate it, and the fact that no one responded just cements the way I feel about people being "generally good". I don't see it.

And what the heck is up with my brother and sister in law saying they were going to visit last sunday then not coming?
I call and no one picks up. I get a text from them asking when I will visit next, and i reply with, "what hapened this past sunday, weren't you guys supposed to drive over?" and not getting a response back.
Oh yeah, they were in Disney.

I feel like NY wasn't vacation enough. I really need to get away for longer, much longer.
If people only knew, only knew the small amount of pressure I feel every day, and the non-release I get when I ask for an ounce of help.

It sucks, it really does.
And i'm really tired of making other people a priority when they've all made me an option.

Story Of My Life...

Flapping leaves caught in grass, resembling fish wings caught on nets
Clicking back and forth, anticipating its end of times like
Departing flight boards laughing above ripped leather seats

Unlike the ebb of tide that pulses in and out
My core clicks. Stacatto. Sharp. Defined.
It's black or white or nothing at all,
Love or hate, it's never gray

Business or pleasure, it can't be both
Tell me what you want, playtime is over
From click to click, which will you be?
Silence or the sound? that's all I mean

"I don't know" "lets see what happens"
Are unacceptable, don't pass GO
Silence over, I've clicked to hate
To hate your gray area

Just chose from left or right
Your thick black line that divides kills
Me inside. You try to be both right or wrong
Never the option of "yes" or "no"

The clicks are quickening, nervously tapping in
Between the sounds of you and me
My circle is incomplete, standing on the cliff of
Yin waiting for Yang, silently yearning for an answer back

Back to hate, it happens so fast
An 'im passe' for now, until your answer, Yang
reverberates back that in fact
one plus one is one.

Moi? a teacher?

I visited my adorable little sister today.
Completely sassy, but she's doing a lot better at listening.
I stayed in class with her today after lunch, and her teacher Ms. Raghoo is AWESOME. She's so funny, messes with the kids and lets me do whatever i want with the time Jolicia and i have together.

Today the whole class worked on math problems, lo and behold... when work time was finished, Ms. Raghoo told me to run over the questions on the overhead with the whole class.
It was so cool, these normally bad kids were all quiet, and "ooo"ed and "aaaahh"ed to get called on when we were going over questions. It was really cool, cause i thought the kids were going to make fun of me? or ignore me? but they all call me Jolicias big sister,, and it was really fun running the class for a couple minutes!

yay!

Jolicia and I at lunch:

probably the cutest thing i've ever done...

So Michael doesn't like Valentines Day. At all. Valentines is my favorite Holiday. ever. of all time.
conflict? YES.
We both like this movie called MirrorMask (the backgrounds are made from screen shots of it).
There is a sphinx in the movie that asks riddles all the time (hence the first picture).
And this is how I asked him to be my valentine.. I sent him the first picture, waited 5 minutes then sent the second.


It says:
"A riddle for you, Michael...
What can fulfill these requirements: a hopeful girl, a lucky guy, undivided attention, funtimes, video games, cookies, anime and a possible hand to hold? You have 5 minutes" (i had to resize cause of blog layout..)

.
.
.
then i sent...



I totally made both of these!
yay for procrastinating during exams!

<3 Capella


oh p.s. he said he'd love to be my Valentine, and he's making me chocolate soufflee on Saturday. :)!

Dammit. :( hah

Bianca and I ran into one of my old classmates from HS today at the Thai Temple. Her name is Gianna, and she said she was trying to get into Bhuddism. She also bartends and performs at Valentines, this alternative lifestyle bar i Tampa. It's hip hop night tonight and Bianca and I are totally going!

HOWEVER,
Keith was supposed to be busy today, and he tells me (after these bar plans have been made) that he thought and wanted me to come over tonight. Dammit. Because I would love to come over tonight. Shit. But I told Gianna that we were going, and I have a whole outfit planned already.
Man. That blows.

*le sigh*

OH OH I'm also way addicted to this song that Chris DeLicious put on a CD for me, by The Bronx. It's called, "Young Bloods"

Young Bloods
I'm amazed how well you handle defeat, for a rookie.
So lay back and just continue to sleep.
We'll tell you when they're long gone.
I solemnly swear to compete in the world if nothing is ever atoned.

Young blood, if given the chance, spit fire!
Young blood, destroy the old empire!

I'm amazed the way you handle the press, like a veteran.
Flies will swarm and bees will crowd for incest.
They want to document all your time.
I solemnly swear to compete in the world if nothing is ever atoned.

Young blood, if given the chance, spit fire!
Young blood, destroy the old empire!
Young blood, if given the chance, spit fire!
Young blood, empires fade, so hold on to the money that you made.

Long gone, I solemnly swear to compete in the world if nothing is ever atoned.

Young blood, if given the chance, spit fire!
Young blood, destroy the old empire!
Young blood, if given the chance, spit fire!
Youn blood, if given the choice, never let them silence your voice!

I love my Daddy, I love my friends!

I love my Daddy:
I had lunch today with the Daddy, and he lied to my mom that he was shopping at Wal-Mart (hahahaha). We were talking about when I was going to graduate and I was in the process of confessing that I wasn't going to get a job right away and that I wanted to travel.
So I asked him how long he was a ship captain for, (if you didn't know, my daddy was a ship captain and traveled le world!). He said, "Seven years. For seven years.." And I said,
"Dad.. after I graduate I want to travel the world. Then.. i might try to get a job in Japan."
Dad: "Okay"
Me: "Have you been to India?"
Dad: "Yes. But don't go there, it's better to go to Bali, Indonesia."
Me: "You've been there?!"
Dad: "Yes. And Europe is too cold. After you graduate we'll go to the Philippines, so I can see my sisters, ok?"
Me: "OK!"
Then we started to talk about traveling and all the places my dad has gone and where I should go. And how I'm going to spend six months working fulltime before we travel so I can pay off my bills and such.
Talking to my dad about traveling almost made me cry in the restaurant, because he didn't judge e on where I should be going, or what i "should be" doing. He just accepts me, and my decisions and that makes him the best daddy ever. :)

I love my friends:
Yesterday I was explaining to one of my male friends how much weight I lost this past week with Weight Watchers, and.. he's been with me with all my dieting endeavors. And he only had to say one thing.."You, know, I'm so proud of you."
When there are friends out there who want you to do good, and guys who back you up like that through whatever? It's probably.. no.. it is, the best feeling one can ever go through..

OH. HELL. YEAH.

It was better than I expected, oh yeah. That's right. I LOST 6.4lbs this week. And guess what's been helping me lose it? That's right, Taco Bell. LOL.

YES.. F. YES!!

Fun times!

I've been feeling really good this week, like REALLY good.
I weighed myself today, a day premature of my official weigh in, and if numbers are correct on my scale (which, i hope to god they are) I would have lost 5.4lbs. haha, oh god i hope that's what shows up tomorrow.

I've been working out like crazy. I went to the gym last night, did 45min of cardio and an extra 30 min of strength and resistance training. When im doing strength training.. im also gaining more confidence.. i can actually watch myself in the mirror while doing my moves and not feel like a complete fat slob.. which is good.. lo. My clothes are loose and look kinda funny on me... :D!!!!

This time last year I was doing an hour on the elliptical, and so far right now only about 20 min. lol. I'm increasing my running/jog everyday.. which is good. I'll probably take Alex Longs advice (triathlon/marathon running friend) on going to Fit-2-Run in the International mall.. apparently they have expensive ass shoes, but they'll size and fit your foot for free. Which is good, because my shoes are not that awesome.

I just finished eating lunch here, in the Physical Education building at USF, yummy! Haha they don't sell food here, but I save money (and calories) by bringing my own frozen food entree`. This is the only building i know of (minus dorms) that has a microwave in their rec room (i also noticed all the Phys. Ed majors are constantly fuckin eating!)
My Smart ones frozen meal was suprisingly large... which brings me to ...

FOOD OF THE WEAK!
Is anything that isn't proper portion sizes. Holidays is a different thing, but eating a shitload just because you have it? don't do it. Unfortunately when I tried to do a search for "comfort food"... guess what was popping up the most? Not comfort food at all (homemade suff), but McDonalds and KFC n shit! how ridiculous. Remember... this looks good, but not on your thighs.



FOOD FOR THE STRONG!haha..
I took this picture right before I devoured it, but it is Roast Turkey Medallions and delicious wild rice. There was so much rice, it was pressing up against the plastic film. Really filling, almost didn't finish it.. and if you're following Weight Watchers, it's only 4 points. (For relevance, i have a bank of 34points a day, and a cup of BROTH soup at Panera is 4-5 points). When the portion is measured for me, i realizr i fill up quicker... just because there is food on the table, doesn't mean you have to eat it.



------

On other news, Keith and I are going to go out to grub this weekend and possibly see My Bloody Valentine in 3D!!!!! WHO IS SO EXCITED?! THIS GIRL!!! And i'm not sure what i'm more excited about.. Keith.. or the movie... lol

This seems to be a routine...

Two days before the weight in again!
haha i'm a lot more confident this time around, however. Also, I don't keep track of my points as diligently as I should be, but I know i'm staying at the point level. If i feel that i've gone over, I just work out. No biggie. Which is awesome! :D

I haven't had much of an appetite lately, so it's been pretty hard to read my goal points to begin with.

on to other news..
On Monday I hung out with Chris DeLoucas and the whole www.GnATV.com crew and ate at Acropolis, this delicious and cheap greek place in Tampa. If you spend at least $10 on food (their food is pretty cheap), you get either a free Hookah or 10% off with your student ID, which is awesome.

Definately Check out www.GnATV.com!!!!! If you're near the Tampa Bay area, you. will. not. regret it.

After a couple chats with the waitress and getting a couple things set up, the boys might have me run their street team! :D nHoooorah, another extracurricular activity!

Speaking of activities, I've been talking to this guy named Keith. He's... pretty weird..haha, but mostly pretty cool and funny. He likes to call and text me to keep updated, which is sweet. We already had an argument about something (haha, guess who normally starts them? hahahaha) but I was thoroughly impressed on how he handled it, which made me like him a little more.
He's really cute, and sort of looks like Matthew Lillards little punk brother, if he had one. He's blonde with light eyes and covered in tattoos... first blonde guy i think i've ever been interested in. But.. whatever, it's nothing big, let's see how it goes. :)

I'll update next on my weigh in!!! Time to shower... i love procrastinating. lol.

Weight In

As you can see, my ticker moved a little further! YESSSS.. at my last weight in i lost 1.2lbs. But i know.. i KNOW i can lose more than that in a week.

I don't realize im losing weight until I actually look at my ticker. Which is GREEEAAAT!

I've been raiding all the grocery stores for all their deals this week: Publix had 50% off Smart Ones, Target had 4 for $7, and Wal Mart had a 'Price Cut', so my freezer is stocked with goodies! I've been doing so well that I hope it lasts :S

After work today I was going to go work out by myself at my jobs gym, however!!!!! I had two friends who were getting off an hour after me, so i waited and we all went together! We all did 30 minutes of cardio, then 30-40 minutes of strength training and weights. It was sooo awesome, i feel like I really got a lot accomplished today.

I think that's my favorite word. Accomplished. Because it makes everything feel and seem better, because it normally is! How about I bring food of the day back? or at least food of the week! I'll start doing food of the week during the entries of my weigh in.. that sounds great! Omg.. how about the weekly food of the strong!!!!??? hahahaha you'll see

FOOD OF THE WEAK!!!!
Even how delicious and beautiful regular ice cream is... think about how beautiful that's going to look on your thighs as dimples. MHMM thats what i thought.


FOOD FOR THE STRONG
A great alternative? Sorbet! It looks just as beautiful and delicious, but way healthier. Look, this one is made out of pomegranate! The ultimate strong food, yuuuum


hehe, hope to update soon! Have a great weekend you guyses!

hmmm Jet setting

So Spring Break is coming up, which is freakin exciting!

However. There are tickets on sale for NY, NY for only $76 EACH WAY. shut. up.
Who wants to come with me? lol

I am looking up places to fly to instead of doing my homework. :(

Im such a procrastinator.

i didn't have a good weight watcher week either. Tomorrow is supposed to be my weight in, but i think i'll wait til Friday. That meeting is so much more up beat. Plus i'll have two extra days to loose some baggage.

I'll definitely update on how that'll go.

180

hehehe
I totally lost a little bit more weight, i'm so excited!!!

Kadie mentioned a marathon in Ireland in 2010.. I want to do it.

I've been looking up tips and talking to people that I know who run marathons and triathlons.
So if you have any information, just let me know!

I'm just gonna keep running to my goal, because I totally know I can do it.

Kadie, Alisha and I worked out the other day at the gym, and my thighs and glutes are KILLING ME.
And every time they start to feel better i either have to go up or down a set of stairs, and they start throbbing again.

My brother and sis-in-law got me a gift certificate at some massage spa in Tampa, i'm going to have to use that soon. :)

Well, another pound + down, much more to go. One step at a time, baby.

Today Was.... EVENTFUL!

And I loved it!
First things first... noticed the Hula girl?! I totally lost some weight at my last weight in! However, I did go to Cici's Pizza this week, and my weight in week is a lot shorter (because im weighing in on Wednesday as opposed to Friday) so Kadie and I are busting butts tomorrow.

Now, todays events!
I cleaned my apartment. It looks AWESOME. The christmas tree is finally down, i rearranged a couple things, and vacuumed, swept and mop. So, I am very pleased with myself when I walked in and saw how nice my place looked after a long day.

After I cleaned my apartment, I left for St. Pete:
view from the top of St. Pete Pier facing BayWalk
I met Daveed at his place, and he took me down the scenic route towards the pier. It was literally the scenic route, because on our way there there were signs that said, "scenic route". lol.
We walked on the pier instead of taking one of their free trolleys, and we adventured through all 4 floors of the building at the end of the pier. They had a mini aquarium on the 2nd floor, restaurants on the 1st, 3rd and 4th floor.
We took these pictures on the first floor viewing area:
Right behind us in this picture there were a lot of people eating outside because there was a sweet Puerto Rican live band there.
We proceeded to go to the 4th floor, where the picture of BayWalk and the whole Pier was taken, and Daveed and I took this:
(behind us is where we took the previous two pictures.)

After the Pier, we went to Bay Walk and had a slice of pizza to calm the tummies.
THE WEATHER WAS PERFECT. There is no other way to describe the weather today. It was sunny, but not blinding, it wasn't cold, but it wasn't terribly sweatingly hot. It was windy, perfectly windy. So we ate outside the pizzarias awning, right next to a terrace with a water fountain and shrubbery. The courtyard was a mosaic of cobblestone and brick. The pizzaria even had a scooter for deliveries. It didn't feel like we were in Florida. I wish Justin could've came, because he would've LOVED the pizza there and the weather.

Daveed and I planned next time that hopefully more people would come so we could rent a 6-person bike carriage. A lot like this one (the only picture i could find without people riding it, and this one is for a 2 person, so add tow more sets of seats in the back):

Afterwards, Daveed and I drove over to Tampa to watch Twilight. IT WAS AWESOME. :)

Today was pretty awesome. A lot of firsts.. first visit to the Pier and BayWalk and Twilight!

School is pretty much amazing...

I love it! it's too much fun, but too much work. :(

I sit next to Angela in one of my classes, which is very exciting. I love her to death.
Today was pretty busy.

I had class then an hour to spare, so i watch a couple episodes of "The Office" on my laptop in this resource room i found. What is cool is that the "resource room" had a pong table, fooseball table a microwave and more. so i actually brought a frozen dinner for lunch and microwaved it on campus. it was tooo cool.

And since i didn't have headphones, people eventually started watching my show with me. haha.

I then saw my little sister at her school... and I haven't seen her in over a month. She's getting slightly better with her reading, but her division skills kinda really suck. I'm going to try to find some flashcards for those.

I went BACK to school and had my other humanvariation/race in culture class then hauled off to work.

I like being busy. But i don't like that I feel as though there's not enough time in the day to do everything that I want to. :(

Speaking of, i'm working a 9hr shift tomorrow, but i have to go to Weight Watchers to get weighed in. It's my first weigh in after I started, so hopefully the little hula girl on my scale (top of page) will be moving soon!!! EEK.

hopefully.. haha



Things are obviously doing better. I believe that the past is the past, and that I can only grow from here.

School Starts Tomorrow

Excitement is slowly building, especially since I don't know how i'm going to be paying for my parking ticket.

My schedule is just as busy as it was last semester, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have a 3 hour break between classes.. and I looked at the schedule at the Yung Ho Tae Kwon Do school, and guess what? They have an adult class that fits PERFECTLY in the break. People in my second class at school are going to have to deal that I smell like shit AND I could kick their ass. ha.

Things are doing better with Justin, now that I know he'll actually talk to me again.
I think im looking forward to his Christmas present more than he is... because i'm going shopping too.

I hope everything gets back to "normal".. the relationship without the title or sleeping over.
I'm actually very grateful that we never had sex, because that would've been a LOT more awkward trying to be friends.

Angela is coming over today for our first Bum Day. We've been planning this day since the beginning of last semester, but our schedules always collided. Angela and I also have another class together this semester, SO EXCITED. I love this girl sooo much.

I bought her coasters that look like little rugs (because she wanted them badly) they were 4 coasters for what? $20!!!!!!!! jesus. christ. most expensive coasters i've seen in my life.
And im about to make her a mixed CD... oh yeah, this is for her christmas presents. We haven;t even had a chance to exchange them yet! ugh.

whatever.
i'm just glad i'm getting some sleep again.

At work again..

this time i'm actually scheduled to be here.

I cried myself to sleep again.
I actually fell asleep, which I was surprised, but Chris called me at 2:30 this morning.
He kept asking how I was doing, and if I was okay. He never asked anything specific, but he always knows when I need to talk to someone or if I need a laugh.
So the break in the middle of my sleep was good.

We decided we were going to start Tae Kwon Do together, because he really wants to do that with me. Which makes me happy, because most people don't want to do my stupid suggestions.

I was planning on working out with Kadie tonight to continue to be busy, and not think so much. But she might have plans with a friend she hasn't seen in a while.

I was leaving for work today and when I was gathering my belongings to go, I got a knock on the door. For a split second I thought and hoped it was Justin. It wasn't.
It was verizon making sure my internet worked. I'm just glad he was there before school started.

Quincy, the Verizon guy, looked at me funny. And he tried to hold a conversation like he knew there was something wrong, or I was sad about something. It was nice of him. Now that I have access to unlimited movies, i have a feeling this semester is going to be a lot like last summer.
Lonely, locked in my room, glutonous and inactive.

Blank

I am.. in my cubicle at work right now.
Except that i didn't work today, and it's 11:22pm on New Years night.
I can't sleep, or do anything by myself because I spontaneously combust into tears.
So i'm sitting next to Kadie. Blank.

Marielena offered to buy me a ticket to NY for next weekend, so I can cry out of state. that was sweet.

School is about to start, i'm not really excited anymore.

I went to bed around 3:30am and woke up at 5am. I think i stained karens couch pillows with my smeared makeup. and i'm pretty sure i didn't wake anyone up with my sobbing.

I haven't eaten all day, and I haven't really talked. Mari said I should write in my journal, so i am.

I thought about visiting Daynes grave and talking to him. He never really judges, or gives advice when he was alive.. but i've also never been to his grave since he passed. so. not really a good day to start.

My dad knows there's something wrong.. i think my mom too, but they're not sure what. I feel hallow. I was in my apartment earlier for about 2 hours. I didn't know bawling could last that long. I'm pretty sure I hate my life.

I'll write tomorrow, whether i want to or not. It sort of feels right.